journey of my soul

I thought about writing this post at the end of 2020, summarizing the whirlwind of a year it had been but in reality today is the anniversary of changes for me.

A year ago today was my last day at a company I had been with for almost five years. I had started off on the retail management team and worked my way up to a part of the buying team at the head office. Leaving was really hard for me. I had a lot of mixed emotions over the great times I had had with the company and other people there. However, I had an offer I just couldn't refuse.

I left for a more senior buying role with another Canadian company. One that, quite frankly I had zero interest in working for. I had heard a lot of bad things from former employees and not just in a disgruntled holding a grudge way. Ultimately I had decided to take it as the money and step up would be worth a year of suffering. My goal was to spend a year there and then start applying for jobs in Montreal.

And here I am less than the year later in Montreal.

I'm not at the company I was aiming for.

I'm not in the role I was aiming for.

I didn't spend the year building my resume.

I didn't spend the year suffering a bad workplace environment.

But I'm happy.

A year ago my life started to change in ways I never could have imagined and it's been the most fantastic of journeys. One could argue that it's really March 17, when regulations hit Nova Scotia due to coronavirus but it's really not. If I had still been at my old job when non-essential businesses should down, I would have had job security. I would never have jumped immediately to planning a new life.

Handing in my two weeks notice was the best thing for me at that time and the beginning of selfish choices that lead me to here. The word selfish is one that I really decided to claim this past year. It has so much negative connotations, it's seen as a bad word, something you don't want to be. I've always pursued my dreams and the things that interested me but this past year was different as I really embraced the selfish pursuit of making my happiness a priority.

I lost a lot of friends.

I made a lot of new ones.

I left my home.

I made a new one.

I gave up familiarity and comfort.

I dove into the unknown.

And it was worth it.

This past year, I experienced a lot of beautiful things. I had some amazing adventures, both alone and with friends. I could have stayed in Halifax, working to get more experience on my resume. Safe in comfort with friends and family but I stopped waiting for an opportunity to present itself and I made plans. I had a whirlwind of a year, with more emotional lows than I'm used to. On the other hand, the emotional highs were worth every second. So quit waiting for that opportunity and make it yourself.

Choose yourself.

Choose happiness.